12 Funny Friday Fiction 55: At the doctors

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Fiction-55 is a story told in 55 words or less. Choose a setting, choose the characters and write the story in 55 words or less. 

"Now, comes the hard part," the doctor said, "Close your eyes slowly, take a deep breath." 

'God, let this difficult situation pass away,' she prayed silently. 

"Now, slowly open your eyes," the doctor said, "Very slowly let them adjust to the surroundings." 

The doctor took a deep breath, "See your medical bill." 

You are all invited to participate in Funny Friday Flash Fiction 55, just send me a mail from your gmail (or blogger) id to siddhesh AT iamgod DOT in(Obviously replace the capital letters with symbols), and the week you want to publish your post.

Remember, 

There is a funny story to tell in everything. 

Cheers,

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22 Salaam Mumbai

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Its been one year since it happened, and whatever happened was not good, yet the spirit on Mumbai is not shaken and Mumbai still stands foiling all the plans of terrorist. Salute to thee the city of lights, still standing erect amidst all plight. Poem written as a tribute to the mumbai city on 26/11/2009 and to that every individual who dropped a shed of tear for the wounded and shaheed Indians.

Their day begins before the sun rise,
The young, the old, the strong and the wise,
Their feet bound to the clock’s tick,
They start each day with a strong kick.
They are the mumbaikars, the busy bee,
Why I salute them you will see.
They always climb the local trains,
In the sun or even in the rains,
They race against time,
And with the clock their feet rhyme.
They are the mumbaikars, the worthy lot,
Living in the city humid and hot.


Every one has his own life,
With arrogant son or over smart wife,
They bear mean bosses or bad teachers,
They avoid the beggars and religion preachers,
They are the mumbaikars, the hard worker,
They love wada pav more than burgers.

Then ten terrorist saw the town,
In a little boat, they came around.
They attacked the city breaking its backbone,
They were happy with the job perfectly done.
The essence of the city was a bit shaken,
The world shook seeing the city weaken.

The police force came to fight the goons,
But the fight they could not stop it soon.
It was raining bullets, which made the city rattle.
The warriors used the 13th century weapons, to fight the 21st century battle.
But finally the warriors won the war,
the terrorist thought their message has reached afar.

Suddenly the city raised its helping hand,
They were ordinary people without a magic wand.
They didn’t need superman to save their soul,
Ordinary people reconstructed the city back to the whole.
The are the mumbaikars, the common men, 


At times they turn to super-men.

All the people big and small,
All the people short and tall,
Today they were neither Muslims nor Hindus,
Neither were they Marathi's, Bhaiyaa's or Mallu’s
Today they were just humans,
Supermen and wonder women.

Setting aside their differences, they helped each other,
Even helping their enemies. They didn’t bother,
On its feet, again, the city rose,
Seeing the site, the terrorist froze.
All the months of planning went in vain,
For the city felt very little pain.


They again wake up before sun-rise,
Join the work with tear in the sad eyes,
For the brothers who had died,
For the orphans and widows who have cried.
I salute to thee: the spirit of Mumbai city,
Yee are proven best, its the terrorist I pity.

The awesome picture of Mumbai:  http://www.andyross.net
Others pictures taken from Google Images, if you hold the copywrite, do inform I will remove them or mention your link.

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43 10 Definite signs to let you know you are in Love

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Shahrukh Khan tried his level best to explain the world about love, but come what you may say, for some reason sitting in a cold night watching a falling meteor does not indicate you are in Love, it indicates you are going to fall sick the next day.

I was always a loner in my life, my friends even called me a robot for my lack of emotions and coldblooded selfish nature, but then I do not know how it happened, all of the sudden I felt something strange, and no not the ‘Kuch kuch hota hai’ things, for that you obviously have ENO, no something else, my scheduled changed exponentially, she had nothing to do with the change, it was natural.

Gravity suddenly goes on vacation when people are falling in Love.


So now presenting for the first time ever, the 10 definite signs to let you know you are in Love.

1. You suddenly find yourself spending the Sundays in an Ice cream parlor or a mall.
2. You have no clue what you did in the mall the whole weekend, when you buy nothing, yet you feel good about it.
3. Your speed dial number ‘2’ has changed and the previous person on speed dial number ‘2’ has dropped your top-ten rank by one (I could not configure speed dial number ‘1’ on my Nokia, can you?)
4. The key number ‘2’ on your phone is suddenly shaky for being pressed two often, so is the speaker of your phone red hot and your ear also hot for being called a same number again and again.
5. You really cannot understand how your phone bill increased so much, when you are calling only one person most of the time, and no matter what you talk your conversations always end with ‘I love you’ and ‘I miss you’.
6. All of the sudden your Mom questions about your whereabouts and you tend to give wrong information, although you know that you have not done anything wrong.
7. Your friends start complaining that you are no where to be seen, however you completely know that you are definitely around.
8. You are solving some completely different problem during the Calculus class, and somehow even simple algebra seems hard that time.
9. You suddenly try to be Mr. Perfect with first name ‘Know-it-all’ Perfect.
10. You are sitting idle for hours, you have no plans for even getting out of the bed for the next whole day, yet you smell yourself and decide that you are not smelling good and go and take a bath.

These signs may vary from individual to individual but if you are inhibiting most of the above signs, you are surely bitten by the love bug, if you find these signs in your life consider change is inevitable.

Embrace the change, you may not want to marry in your life, want to practice celibacy, wish to have a live-in, are a gay but for once, try falling in love with someone, try caring for someone else other than you, and yes, try to fall in love, true love, only once.

Its ossum, true story.

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18 Growing up....

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So when does a boy turn into a man?? Is it when he experiences puberty changes?? or when he finally learns to wash his own socks???
Well frankly, if we go to the former, a kid of age 10 should me a man while if we assume the later there are 'men' of age 65 who do not know the how the socks smell.

So definitely there isn't any proper measure in which you can say a boy turns into a man, of course the Ranjor ke Rathor have them, with 3 conditions of manhood, normal people don't have any.

Ok so why am I bugged with this question? on a pretty evening, a pretty girl says to me, 'You are such a child'...oh my...

well, seriously am I? I am not sure any more....

I definitely can wash my own socks, I do that once every 2 month... I even cook, when I decide to give myself a treat. I clean my room once every 6 months, but still she says I am such a child.

Oh puh lease...givv me a break...

C'mon, girls eat chocolate like a kid, I have seen girls fall for chocolate like hungry rabid dogs, they are not called such a child, are they???

Just because I mix coke and miranada, I become a child..sheesh. I just simply like miking my fluids thats it. C'mon 'teachers' and 'miranda' is a combination I tried once, never again, but hey 'Teachers' is a mans drink ain't it???

Anyways, I am planning on suing the girl for child abuse, you try coke and miranda combination, it takes like hell....ossum!!!

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20 Double Shots Part Deux

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Double shots bar is always popular because of the celebrities we find here. Anyone with money can step in. The normal laws of humanity dissolve after a few double shots.
Previously we witnessed the horrible combination of Hollywood, Bollywood and alcohol. If you missed it, read about it here.

He had second thoughts about the meeting, the moment he had agreed to meet them. He glanced nervously at the door again and again as if calculation the amount of time needed for him to run away.

He was the oldest game show host and today the creative director and the marketing manager of a production channel where coming to meet him.

They entered through the bar hurriedly,
'Sary sary,' said the creative director with the most horrible ascent English, 'I yam the creative director for the Chingalaapa Ingalappa Direct Channel. Dese iz my marketing mainager,' he introduced.

'Hi, you wanted to talk about your new show?' he said putting the most effort to smile artificially.

'Yesh yesh,' said the marketing manager, 'We want you to host it. The game show is nothing like what iz present in India right now. We will be creating the next big sensation after carodpati.'

'Right, so is it a knowledge based game?' he asked politely.

'Kawledge, yes, we have leetle bit of kawledge in the show,' smiled the creative director, 'But it izz mostly creative.'

'Can we run through the pattern?' he asked taking a long shot.

'Yesh yesh,' said the marketing manager, 'We are roping in one of the top brands in India to sponspor us, so money is not a problem.'

'Good good, thats great,' he said, 'Can I see the pattern of the show?'

'Right,' said the creative director grumpily, as if he was relunctant in telling the pattern to the host of the show, 'Leet me arder some drinks first.'

The creative director vanished into the darkness. The marketing manager was smiling shamelessly showing his blackened teeth.

'You see, we have a huge budget for the show. We plan to run the first season for a year,' the manager explained.

'A year!' exclaimed the host, 'You mean nearly sixty episodes?'

'No no, we run it daily, not weekly. We plan on 365 episodes, all runing prime time after Kukurmati ki karmabhari kahani, all days, and special one hour episodes on sunday'

'Daily?' he chocked over his shot, 'So are we going to get so many participants?'
He wondered what the show will be to get so much response to run for 365 days!!!

'Why new participants? We are getting in thirty jobless celebrities, we are making them sign a bond to practically give us the rights to mentally and emotionally torture them in front of national television and broadcast anything they say in the next 365 days to public,' the marketing manager proudly explained.

He gulped a stroung patiyala shot. This is not going good.

'So is this the show where you throw them in a room and give them a task to do?' he asked.
'No no, this is even better than that,' smiled the manager, 'We torture them with complex questions of general knowledge all round the year.'

The last few words where said with so much stress that he chocked over his beer, splat some of it on the face of the manager and coughed for next three minutes.

The creative director returned back with two strong beers in his hands, 'So did you tell him the game?'

'No no, I was waiting for you,' smiled the manager, 'You are senior na.'

The director beamed and gazed at the manager in such a way that he knew who was going to get a nice appraisal soon, 'So where was I,' asked the director, 'Yesh yesh, Murgan yena kundu lasi. Iya waanted to tell you the game shaw.'

'See, we get in aal the jobless celebrities, people from flop films, after day heriorienes, strugglers with one or two serials in their hand...'

'We are also auditioning gays, we need one of them in our game,' interrupted the manager.

'Yes, yes I was coming to that. We also rope in one gay with the team and these people are our participant. We then kidnap...'

'Excuse me? Kidnap?' he asked nervously.

'Yes, Yes, don't interupt. We then kidnap the near and dear person from each participant and keep them in the jungle. Now, we give them tasks to perform every day like eating all the grossiest insects, taking a bath in the mud and also difficult task like brushing and flossing the teeth of a gorilla,' smiled the director.

'Erm...,' he just stared at them.

'Told you we have signed a bond with the people that we can torture them mentally,' said the manager.

'Right,' he said, not understanding where does a quiz master comes in the show, 'So what is my role here?'

'Let me finish,' the director said, 'These task make them earn some money and also gets them a clue to rescue their near ones. We have a central character in the show called Bada Baap, now we have asked Mr. Heighted Bacchan to take up the role, but there is some problem with the dates. The Bada Baap will be coming in once every weekend to monitor our teams performance.

We also have a talent show every saturday, where we make the participants show their talents to the world,' the director explained.

'We have many celebritity judges who will confuse the people with their 'expert' comments on the talent. They are currently undergoing training to be mean and pass comments that will make the contestant loose their moral, dignity and confidence in one line,' smiled the manager shamelessly.

'This show will be running prime time,' continued the director, 'and we want you to host it. You will be given the complete meanest and stupidest script ever that will scare the contestants since day one.'

'Erm... ok, do the contestants know about this game?' he asked, wondering who would sign a bond for such a horrible game.

'No, no, they just believe the game is going to give them publicity. We know that they are going to loose everything they have in just first season,' smiled the director.

'Horri...beautiful show,' he said taking in a strong and large shot, 'What is the signing amount I get?'
'We will make you rich than anyone, we just want you to sign in a contract with us,' said the marketing manager.
'Contract?' nervous about what are the terms.

'Yes, a contract,' the marketing manager gave a evil grin as he removed a legal sheet of paper, 'a contract that says, you will do whatever you are told to do with the contestants mentally for the duration of the show. You will not laugh, not cry on screen for the duration of the show unless it is a special episode during festivals. You will not help any contestant, not run away from the show until told to do so for some publicity stunt. Again, the pattern in the show can change anytime dependent on the populartity and the sponsorers will, do you agree?'

'Hello? where did he go?' asked the director confunded.
The booth was empty.

The next day, newspaper carried two prime news, 'A new and big celebrity game show in production' and 'A unknown drunk celebrity seen running away from double shots bar.'

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